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Autonomy

Full disclosure: I graduated with a major GPA of 2.7 in college. That led to an uphill battle as I scrambled to figure out what was next.

The differential between the classes and subjects I loved, and the ones I hated, was significant. The elegance, conceptual and problem solving nature of organic chemistry, was my thing. Never once did it feel like work. My curiosity was alive.

Throw me into a calculus class, and… well… I would try. Try my best, but something was different. The concepts, and ideas presented didn’t sync with the rythym of my brainwaves. I was lucky to pass those classes.

To this day, I still question if I needed an attitude adjustment, or if my brain just really doesn’t work in the way that is needed to be successful in a field as abstract as calculus, or physics.

Ultimately to say — I valued autonomy. Being able to learn what I wanted to learn, when it was appropriate. I remember in college going straight from the organic chemistry lab I was working in, over to the makerspace. Set up a reaction, and then go play with the CNC router. That’s what I wanted to do. What I wanted to learn. Not something obscure like Riemann sums, or solving diferential equations.

The common thread is the use of my hands. The process of doing. Of making.

Using the physical world as a medium to express my desire to solve problems. That’s the essence of my passion.

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Focus. Breathe. Create.

Hi. My name is Ian and I’m a chronic project starter, but never finisher. I tend to start projects and then let them fizzle out. This may be another one of those, and that’s ok. I think…

In my head I rationalize it — “it means that I love the process”. That it’s not about the end destination, but rather the problem solving and continual learning that is a part of the journey.

I’ve learned so much through my casual explorations. I’ve picked up skills in 3D printing, Fusion 360, a little Python… Even if I don’t finish a project, I’ve always taken something away. Something to be used the next time.

But, I long to create something more complete. Or maybe just better document my musings. I’d like to have more autonomy, someday.